collected by Joe Bethancourt                  
PO Box 35190 Phoenix Az 85069                 
locksley@indirect.com

The opinions expressed in some of the verses are not necessarily the opinions
of Joe Bethancourt, his dog, wife, kids, family or friends. Joe's cats think
the whole thing is stupid, and the ferrets don't care.
                                *
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                    THE ORIGINS OF "REAL OTR"

John Boardman, the East Coast collector of this song, says in _ANAKREON_ #8
(1 Nov., 1980): "So far, two different stories have come in of how "That Real
Old Time Religion" originated. Robin R. Arnhold writes that "Lady Cybele"
started it a decade or more ago, and says that (five of the early verses) are
of her composition, with a chorus of "Give Me That Old Craft Religion." 'The
first exposure to people other than Madison-area pagans came when Lady Cybele
sang some of her songs in informal sessions at the Gnostica festivals in the
early 1970's.' "

"But Allison Harlow claims that 'Victor Anderson, the blind shaman of San
Leandro...first began singing these verses; we taught the idea to NROOGD and
_Nemeton_, whence it caught on in the Mid-West...and finally reached the East
Coast.'"

John writes further in _ANAKREON_ #12 (1 Nov. 1981): "Rus (Gulevitch) has a
resolution of the situation presented in _ANAKREON_ #8, in which two
different stories of the origin of "That Real Old Time Religion" were
presented:"

" 'I've heard about Cybele being the originator of OTR, too,' he wrote, 'But
I also heard that several covens (who had no contact with each other) got the
same idea at different times, and Cybele is but the one who first made it
more or less public. Such things happen often enough.' "

To which I (Joe Bethancourt) can only add that I heard it in the early 1970's
and I have been collecting, and enjoying it ever since.

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                   A PARTIAL LIST OF CONTRIBUTORS

             These verses were written or contributed by:

Abby, Margot Adler, Poul Anderson, Ardjukk Afraid-Of-His-Cats, Robin R.
Arnhold, Dave Aronson, Astryd, Johnathan Baker, Kevin Barkes, "Hugo t. Bear,"
Beth of Demeter's Beehive, Joe Bethancourt, Kihe Blackeagle, Mark Blackman,
Blackthorn, Blue Star Grove, John Boardman, Brian Burley, Clan MacChluarain,
Care, Catbad, Rick Cook, Don Cook, Greg Costikyan, Michele Cox, Diane
Crockett, Lady Cybele, the Dark Horde, John Desmond, Rick Detar, Terri
Dorrosch, Dragomyr the Cossack, Will Duquette, Earil, Elfwork, Dick Eney,
Ravan Fairgrove, Leslie Fish, Al Frank, Corrina Frank, Filthy Pierre, "J.
Random Folksinger," Anne Friend, Gabriel, Janice Gelb, Cemoc Gilcrom, Daniel
S. Goodman, Harold Groot, Rus Gulevitch, Gwetholyn from Rhode Island, PDP11
Hacker, Haragano, Allison Harlow, Heather, John Hedtke, Brad Hicks, Chip
Hitchcock, Tracy Holland, Judson Horning,  Hypatia, Steve Jackson, Kram, Fred
Kuhn, Karl Lembke, Leonard Lake, Last Verse Littlejohn, Cheryl Lloyd, Lucina,
Lyra, Major Matt Mason, Jean Michele Martin, Michael from the Bronx, Digger
McGilp, Greg McMullan, Catherine Olanich, Florence P., Gregg Palmer, Ron
Parshley, Mack Pitchford, Dave Policar, Murray Porath, Prudence Priest,
Promethean Coven, "Puck," Brother Radamus, Eric Raymond, John Redford, Alice
Rhodes, Doug Rice, Mad Richard, Erich Rickheit, Rowanhold Bardic Circle, Roz,
Dan Ruvin, Sabina, Ben Sansing, Louise Sansing, Dave Schwartz, Peter Seeger,
Kay Shapero, Gianni Siri, Skia, Dana Snow, Geneva Steinberg, Ruth Sylvester,
Glen R. Taylor, Bruce Tomlin, Torve, Vanthi Coven, David Weingart, John Wenn,
Russ Williams, Dani Zweig, the nut-cases on the Filk and SCA sigs (both
InterNet and Fido,) and the usual "Traditional" or "Anonymous" which is a
good way of keeping Angry Villagers armed with rakes, scythes, pitchforks,
torches and dental tools away from your door. And probably several more
people but I dunno who they are. And they probably won't admit to it.

I have categorized the verses as best that I and a roomful of references
could do. If I have anything placed wrongly, let me know. Nicely.

Please don't take offense that I have not given the author's names for each
verse....in many cases, I honestly don't know precisely who wrote which ones,
and if it's any consolation, there are quite a few in here that I wrote, and
have not put my name to either. After all, this song belongs to EVERYONE,
which is why I have -not- claimed copyright to any verses.

You are herewith invited to sing this song at every opportunity, to use it to
puncture Windbags, annoy Jerks, and in general have a wonderful time laughing
at our human foibles and follies....for (the) God(s) love(s) laughter.

If you wanna think that I am some kind of Evil Rotten Person for this song,
then all I can say is "Get a life!" And then write some verses that express
-your- opinions and send them to me. I'll be more than happy to include them,
if they are not Terminally Obscene to the point of legal action.

                                                Joe Bethancourt
                                                PO Box 35190
                                                Phoenix, AZ 85069
                                                locksley@indirect.com

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                               *

                   THE REAL OLD TIME RELIGION
                   (Tune: "Old Time Religion")

       (Chorus): Give me that real old time religion (3X)
                 It's good enough for me!

                          AFRICAN PAGANISM

We will hang out with Anansi               I will visit with Nyame
He's the spider god we fancy               The Ashanti god of all, hey
And he wears eight legged pants, He's      I will bring him a salami
got enough legs there for me!              And we'll both sit down to tea!

                       AGNOSTICS AND ATHEISTS

Lots of folks are into God          Let us praise God for creation
And I've often thought it odd       And he made more than one nation
Do they love Him for His bod'?      Let's give Him a big ovation,
Or is it ideology?                  And then tell Him "Let us be!"

I don't care about Jehover            It's the Fundie Right's solution
Soon his office term is over          To put Christian absolution
I would sooner worship Rover          In the U.S. Constitution
'Cause he's good enough for me!       And that don't sit well with me!

I won't go into no temple           I shall stay a firm agnostic
Not for Graham nor Miss Semple      I can't do a double-crostic
No, not even for a "semple"         I'm a fan of Barry Bostwick
It ain't good enough for me!        And that's good enough for me!

If you think religion's awful          But the True Religion's Science
And you've really had your craw full   Where we place our great reliance
Just be sure your acts are lawful      'Cause it's laws don't take defiance
Or they'll -all- be after thee!        So it's good enough for me!

We will go and worship Jesus         We give thanks to Jerry Falwell
Yes we will, when Hades freezes      If his Crusade we can't stall, well,
He is full of guilt and fleases      Ship him one-way to Rabaul - well!
Which ain't good enough for me!      that's not far enough for me!

Are you waiting for the Rapture?     Whene'er I hear Jerry Falwell
Superstition's got you captured!     Quite soon I don't feel at all well
You believe a lot of crap, sure      Throw him down a sacrificial well
Isn't good enough for me!            That'll be good enough for me!

There are those who worship no gods      Madelyn Murray O'Hare hollers
For they think that there are low odds   Let's get God from off our dollars
That the god-seers aren't drunk sods     God is something I can't swaller
And they're good enough for me!          'Cause he's got more balls than me!

There are those that sing out "Amen!"    Are you waiting for the Rapture?
To a bastard Jewish shaman               Go on, wait, and see if I care!
You know who, so I won't name him        I'll go off and take a nap, sure
But it's good enough for me!             Isn't good enough for me!

Call Him God, or call him Allah     The very first of chiromancers
The priest will take your dollah    Overdosed on mood-enhancers
Easy living from -your- follah-     And found his palm had all the answers
-wers, but sorry, -not- from me!    Which is good enough for me!

You can keep your Old Religion,      Jehovah's fine transcendence
It's for suckers and for pigeons!    And the Church's great resplendence
I don't buy it! Not a smidgen!       Pushing guilt and co-dependence
I'm an atheist, you see!             Ain't good enough for me!

AGNOSTIC/ATHEIST CHORUS: Gimme NO kind-a religion
                         Gimme NO kind-a religion
                         Gimme NO kind-a religion
                         It simply ain't for me!


                         ASATRU AND ODINISM

I hear Valkyries a-comin                One-eyed Odin we will follow
In the air their song is comin          And in fighting we will wallow
They forgot the words! They're hummin!  Till we wind up in Valhallow
But they're good enough for me!         Which is good enough for me!

We will drive up to Valhalla         It was good enough for Odin
Riding Beetles, not Impalas          Though the tremblin' got forbodin'
Singing "Deutschland Uber Alles"     Then the giants finally strode in,
And that's good enough for me!       But it's good enough for me!

It was good enough for Loki          Shall we sing a verse for Thor,
It was good enough for Loki          Though he leaves the maidens sore?
He thinks Thor's a little hokey      They always come back for more,
And that's good enough for me!       So he's good enough for me!

Shall we sing in praise of Loki,     It was good for Thor and Odin
Though he left poor Midgard smokey?  It was good for Thor and Odin
Oh, his sense of humor's hokey,      Grab an axe and get your woad on!
But he's good enough for me!         and it's good enough for me!

All the Gods tore into Loki        We will worship now with vigor
Saying Deicide is hokey!           The goddess known as Frigga
And they threw him in the pokey!   Tho there are some who don't dig her
And that's good enough for me!     She is good enough for me!

Good old Thor's the god of thunder   If you wanna worship Odin
Really helps us get our plunder      You don't have to have a coat on
Tho his head's still truly dunder    Grab a sword and slap some woad on
He is good enough for me!            And that's good enough for me!

In the halls of Frey and Freya           We will sing a verse for Loki
All the priestesses will lay ya          He's the old Norse god of Chaos
If you're good enough, they'll pay ya!   Which is why this verse don't
And that's good enough for me!             rhyme or scan or nothin'
                                         But it's good enough for me...

Odin is a mighty thinker             Give a hand to darlin' Freya
And he is a heavy drinker            There's no need to ask her "May ya?"
With the girls he likes to tinker    For a necklace she will lay ya!
So he's good enough for me!          And that's good enough for me!

We will go and worship Loki        We will go to Utgard Castle
He will tell a dirty jokie         We'll watch Thor and Elli wrassle
And get locked up in the pokey     Thor will have a lot of hassle
But that's good enough for me!     But he's god enough for me!

We will go and worship Frigga          It was good enough for Thor 'n'
And the men will be much bigga         I can hear the thunder roarin'
And they won't have a hair-trigga      Or maybe it's his snorin'!
And that's good enough for me!         But it's good enough for me!

Do you know what brought Balder low    We will all go worship Hoenir
His Achilles heel, mistletoe          Who has ears that hear by sonar
His systems are no longer "Go"         And a most impressive boner!
But he's good enough for me!           And that's good enough for me!

We will raise our cups to Bragi        It was good enough for Loki
And we'll drink until we're groggy     Whose humor was okey-dokey
And the pretzels get all soggy         He'd laugh and take a tokey
But that's good enough for me!         And that's good enough for me!

We will ask a boon of Mimir            We will walk upon ol' Bifrost
With the Northern Lights a-glimmer     Tell ol' Heimdall that we're not lost
I would not mind being slimmer         Ask Odin what the runes cost
Which is good enough for me!           And hit Loki with a pie!


                              BRUJA

Let us sing for Brujaria                  We will watch a Bruja giggle
Though the blood's a lot less cleaner;    At a novice witch's wiggle
It's not Christian Santaria               For you see, a Bruja's giggle
So it's good enough for me!               Is a Brou-ha-ha to me!


                             BUDDHISM

We will all go to Nirvana               Oh we all will follow Buddah
So be sure to mind your manners         Oh we all will follow Buddah
Make a left turn at Savannah            And we'll eat no food but Gouda
And we'll see the Promised Land!        Which is Gouda-nuff for me!

It was good enough for Buddha,          We will go and sing "Hosanna"
As a god he's kinda cute-a,             To our good ol' pal, Gautama,
And he comes in brass or pewta'         He will never flim or flam ya',
So he's good enough for me!             And that's good enough for me!

No one wrote a verse for Buddah      We will all go to Nirvana
Tho I think they really coulda       We will all go to Nirvana
And I really think they shoulda      Make a left turn at Urbana
'Cause he's good enough for me!      And you'll see the Promised Land!

We will all follow Buddah           We will venerate the Buddah
He's one really serene dude-a       Comes in silver, brass and pewta'
But you have to beg for food-a      He ain't quite the Lion of Judah
And that's good enough for me!      But he's good enough for me!

We will sing for Yama-Dharma        Maybe I should try ol' Buddah
At our revels on the farm-a         We can share a little Gouda
Though it messes up our karma       I hope he won't think it rude-a
It's good enough for me!            Me to say he's not for me!

I am darn confused by Zen         Clap one hand if you love the Buddha
It seems way beyond my ken        It will put ya in the mood ta
Could you say it all again        Set off for Nirvana
Somewhat clearer so I'll see?     And that's good enough for me!

                    CARGO CULT & PACIFIC ISLANDS

To the tune of Handel's "Largo"       If you get too tired
We will hymn the gods of Cargo        And you need to get up higher
'Til they slap on an embargo          Just have Pele light your fire!
And that's good enough for me!        From her island in the sea!

You can keep your saints with halos,   It was good enough for Maui
Your incense, hymns and aloes:         And for his communion chow he
Let's throw virgins in volcanos!       Served up poi and long pig - Wowee!
And that's good enough for me!         And that's good enough for me!

We will go and worship Maui          We will watch the hula dancers
With that Polynesian zowie           Topless Polynesian prancers
And he'll give us Maui Wowee!        And we'll get pagan romance, sir
And that's stoned enough for me!     And go to Easter Island, free!


                               CHRISTIAN

We will worship with the Fundies      Say the Baptists, "We're the only
With their itchy hair-shirt undies    We're the one church that's not phony
If they don't bring "Mrs. Grundy,"    If you give us all your money
Then it's good enough for me!         Then to Heaven you shall go!

It was good for old Jehovah         Let's all listen up to Jesus
He had a son who was a nova!        He says rich folks like old Croesus
Hey there, Mithras! Move on ova'!   Will be damned until Hell freezes
Another resurrection Day!           And that don't sound good to me!

Jerry Falwell thinks he's sav-ed        Oh we'll all be Fundamental
In a lamb's blood he's been lav-ed      And be Holy Testamental
And HE thinks that I'M deprav-ed        And never Trancendental
But that's good enough for me!          And that's good enough for me!

Tho J.C.'s into fish, too,            Anytime that I start hearin'
He's an avatar of Vishnu              "Jesus loves you" I start leerin'
So he is welcome here, too,           Maybe so, but not like Brian
And that's good enough for me!        Which is good enough for me!

Brother Jerry is a cretin             Brother Oral's in his tower,
But with all the cash he's gettin'    Trusting in the Lord's power
Lotsa folks'll be forgettin           Getting richer by the hour,
It's the "Land of the Free!"          Now he's got the ransom fee!

Brother Robert's church is Crystal       Brother Earnest is a healer
But all the Bible that he's missed'll    And not QUITE a wheeler-dealer --
Make you "hotter than a pistol"          More a jumper and a squealer
But he's good enough for me!             So he's good enough for me!

Brother Jim and Sister Tammy       Then there's good ol' Brother Billy
Had a show that was a whammy       Bringing souls in willy-nilly.
But now they are in Miami          All his trips are kinda silly,
Tryin' t'get back on TV!           But he's good enough for me!

That Bob Larson shrieks and hollers    We will finally pray to Jesus
Fighting demons in his callers         From our sins we hope he frees us
Save his program: SEND YOUR DOLLARS!   Eternal life he guarantees us
And that's good enough for me!         And that's good enough for me!

You could join Jehovah's Witness             And let's not forget Pelagius
Running door to door for fitness             Though some call him outrageous
Well if you've been blessed with quickness,  He is pious and courageous
Then thats good enough for me                And he's good enough for me!

Oh the Christians worship Jesus            Oh my name is Torquemada
But their sermons sure don't please us     I burn Lutherans in Grenada
It's a Sin each time ya sneezes            It's all for the Holy Fadda
That ain't good enough for me!             And it's good enough for me!

We will worship Christian Jesus        It was down in Waco, Texas
And do just like John Paul pleases     When they came to arrest us
That we will... when Hades freezes!    We needed britches of asbestos
And that's good enough for me!         That was hot enough for me!

It was good for Oral Roberts         We will witness for Jehovah
It was good for Oral Roberts         Sell "Watchtower" ten times over
Not so good for elves and hobbits    But it ain't no bed of clover
And it's good enough for me!         So I'm sorry; not for me!

Whether Low Church or it's High Church  And the Romans said of Jesus
Or it's Pie-Up-In-The-Sky Church        "Lets kill him, he don't please us"
Come on down and visit my Church        "But the Atheists will tease us"
'Cause it's good enough for me!         And thats good enough for me

Well you can worship Jesus            It's no good for Billy Graham
Go ahead and pray to Jesus            'Cause he just won't give a damn
But I tell you, he don't please us    'Cause he's too much of a ham
Just leave my Gods to me!             But it's good enough for me!

Others followed Rev. Jim Jones        Oh the Christian sects they will clutch
In Guyana they found their bones      At their dogmatic hate-crutch
Kool-Aid mixed with cyanide stones!   I'm afraid that is just too much
That ain't good enough for me!        Sects and violence for me!

Well I hear your god's named Jesus     Take the Blarney Stone and pitch it
You can do just as you pleases         To the nuns of St. Bridget
Even bless me if I sneezes             Tho they're pious, they're not frigid
Cause its good enough for me!          And they're good enough for me!

It was good enough for Jesus               Let us pray to the Virgin Mary
Though Paul's doctrine doesn't please us   Let us pray to the Virgin Mary
We prefer a faith that frees us            As our Rosary we carry
And that's good enough for me              And she's good enough for me!

                         CLASSICAL PAGANISM

We will go to worship Zeus           You can dance and wave the thyrsos
Though his morals are quite loose    And sing lots of rowdy verses
He gave Leda quite a goose           Till the neighbors holler curses,
And he's good enough for me!         And that's good enough for me!

We will pray to Father Zeus           We will sing for great Diana
In his temple we'll hang loose        Who will teach of love and honor
Eating roast beef au jus,             But you really gotta wanna!
And that's good enough for me!        'Cause she's tough enough for me!

Shall we sing a verse for Venus,   We went off to worship Venus
Of the Gods she is the meanest,    By the Gods! You should have seen us!
Cause she bit me on my...elbow!    Now the Clinic has to screen us...
And it's good enough for me!       But that's good enough for me!

We will venerate old Bacchus               It was good enough for Sappho
Drinking beer and eating tacos             With her lady on her lap-o
Til you've tried it please don't knock us  She put Lesbos on the map-o
'Cause it's good enough for me!            With her pagan poetry!

Let us raise a toast to Bacchus,       When we worship Bacchus
We will raise a royal ruckus,          The ethanol will sock us
Then we'll lay us down and f**k us     We'll all get good and raucous
That's good enough for me!             And that's good enough for me!

Diana is a little spikey           We'll sing praises to Apollo;
And she is a little dyke-ey        Where the Sun God leads we'll follow
You don't have to be a Psych-e     ('Though his head's a little hollow)
To know that's right for me!       He's good enough for me!

We will worship with Poseidon         Don't neglect that shrine of Zeus'
We will meet him when the tide's in   Tho he's lost his vital juices
All the maidens he will ride in       The old boy still has his uses
Then he'll give 'em all to me!        And he's good enough for me!

All the hunters start convergin'      We will all bow to Hephaestus
When Diana is emergin'                As a blacksmith he will test us
It's too bad she's still a virgin     'Cause his balls are pure asbestos
But there's still hope left for me!   So he's good enough for me!

And what about this Bacchus,          There is room enough in Hades
Who lives just to raise a ruckus?     For lots of criminals and shadies
Loosens women so they'll f**k us,     And disreputable ladies,
Well, that's good enough for me!      And they're good enough for me!

We will all see Aphrodite             And to help things get real racous
Though she's pretty wild and flighty  The priests of Pan and Bacchus
She will meet us in her nightie       Will hold a f***ing contest!
And she's good enough for me!         And that's all right with me!

Oh we will go and worship Pan,        Bumper stickers of all sizes
'Cause he just don't give a damn!     At quite reasonable prices
Grab a woman or a man,                They say 'ankh' if you love Isis
And that's good enough for me!        And that's good enough for me!

Was a time, so I've heard tell, a      We all worshipped Dionysus
Fine and promising young fella         'Till we ran into a crisis:
Gave his all to serve Cybele           The bar had raised its prices;
But that's damn well not for me!       That's not good enough for me!

We'll sing praises to Apollo            There's that lusty old Priapus
Where the Sun-God leads, I'll follow    He's just itching to unwrap us.
From Ionia to Gaul-o                    (He'd do more to us than tap us
And that's good enough for me!          And that's good enough for me!)

We will have a mighty Party          Pan's pipes got plugged last summer
In the honor of Astarte              And it really was a bummer
Grab your chiton - don't be tardy    Finally had to call a plumber!
'Cause she's good enough for me!     But he's good enough for me!

In his dancing Pan will lead them       Now Danae was sweet as flowers,
When his pipes call we will heed them   She was into golden showers;
In truth tho, he don't need them        And that showed her Zeus' power
He's more than enough for me!           And that's good enough for me!

It was good enough for Venus           We will sing our staves to Venus
She'd have sighed if she'd of seen us  We will sing our staves to Venus
Letting morals come between us         Tho I think this rhyme is henious
And she's good enough for me!          But it's good enough for me!

There's one thing that I do know      Let us dance with Dionysus
Zeus' favorite is Juno                And get drunk on wine and spices
She's the best at doing...you know!   The Christians call them "vices"
And that's good enough for me!        But they're good enough for me!

It was good enough for Cupid       We will venerate old Hermes
It was good enough for Cupid       With his staff entwined with wormies
His wings look kind of stupid      Warding off the nasty germies
But that's good enough for me!     And that's good enough for me!

Let's all drink to Dionysus        We will all bow down to Venus
Wine and women beyond prices!      As we dance upon Mt. Zenos
He made a Maenad out of my Sis!    We will worship with our....voice
And that's good enough for me!     And that's good enough for me!

There are those who, when they've got e-
Normous problems that are knotty
They just take them to Hecate           We all worship Aphrodite,
And that's good enough for me!          And Her sister bold Astarte,
                                        They both throw a lovely party,
In the church of Aphrodite              And that's just fine with me!
She's a mighty righteous sightie,
The Priestess wears a see through nightie
And she's good enough for me

We remember Ariadne                  Tho they wrote "Star Spangled Banner"
To whom Theseus was a cad, he        On Anacreon's pinanner
Split and left her feeling badly     He has such a laid-back manner
Good old Baccus set her free!        That he's good enough for me!

Anacreon's drinkin' hearty             If you plan to court Medusa
At a never-ending party                At her place in Syracusa
Charter member from the start, he's    Take a mirror; what's the use-a
Got the seat I'd like for me!          Getting stoned before your spree?

To Prometheus let us hark              Aphrodite in her bower
In bringing fire, he made his mark     Calls her lovers by the hour
Or we'd be dancing in the dark         Joyful loving is her dower
And that's not good enough for me!     And she's good enough for me!

Pan and all the satyrs prayed in       If you have the itchy-squirmies
Chorus when they saw a maiden          Then you better pray to Hermes
"What a great place to get laid in!"   He will cure you of your germies
And it's good enough for me!           And he's good enough for me!

We had better worship Neptune        If you pray unto Uranus
We had better worship Neptune        Then your crime is truly henious
If we don't we'll all be wet soon    You can stick it in your...songbook
And that's wet enough for me!        And that's good enough for me!

Let us all join with the Dryads      A most vile persisten lecher
Let us all join with the Dryads      Scorned by one, set out to catch her
Trees may not be quite the Triad     When his magic couldn't fetch her
But they're good enough for me!      Poor Atlanta turned to me!

It was good for Greek Apollo        We will frolic with old Bacchus
Though his act is hard to follow    We don't care if some folks mock us
Full of lyres I cannot swallow      'Cause his rites are rather raucous
But it's good enough for me!        And they're good enough for me!

It was good for old Achilles            We will even worship Hades
Though death gave his Mom the willies   Though he dwells among the shadies
She Styx-dipped him by the heelies      He still picks up pretty ladies
And that's good enough for me!          And he's good enough for me!

We will worship Aphrodite               In the Temple of Apollo
We will worship Aphrodite               All the laurel leaves we'll swallow
'Cause we've seen her in her nightie    Then the colored trails will follow
And that's good enough for me!          And that's stoned enough for me!

Let us never forget Puck            We will worship old Apollo
Leads us wand'ring thru the muck    He's got others beat all hollow
He don't give a flying f***         Let him lead and we will follow
But he's Fool enough for me!        And that's good enough for me!

We will worship old Poseidon        We will run the Lupercalia
And the dolphin he's a-ridin'       With our leather paraphenalia
Tho it has a scaly hide on          Substitute for genitalia
Still, that's good enough for me!   That ain't good enough for me!

It was good for fair Apollo         It was good for lovely Artemis
For the Sun's rays he doth follow   Who'd like to get to the heart of us
He'll be back again tomorrow        She's glad to be a part of us
And that's good enough for me!      And she's good enough for me!

It was good enough for Hecate              At Troy nobody was mean-a
She's trying to make a witch of me         That the Great Goddess Athena
I wish I could choose which one of three   Mopped them up with Ajax clean-a
And it's good enough for me!               And that's good enough for me!

If you're worshipping Athena         It was good enough for Hades
Then your morals must be clean-a     Tho I'm glad he didn't make us
And your brain a little keen-a       At least, he won't try to save us
And that's good enough for me!       And that's good enough for me!

We've neglected Father Zeus          We will worship Queen Omphale
Tho it seems a bit obtuse            Who drove Heracles to folly
We think more of Mother Goose        For they dressed in drag, by golly!
But he's good enough for me!         I dunno if that's for me!

We will all go worship Plutus        Young Bacchus in the springtime
And with riches he'll salute us      Leads the dancers round the grapevine
All that gold would surely suit us   Soon those grapes are gonna be wine
And it's good enough for me!         And that's good enough for me!

Demeter's bees within the hive       Dionysius drank his wine down
Hum with joy to be alive             And the Bacchae stumbled all 'round
Matriarchy is no jive                And the pirate ship went aground
And it's good enough for me!         And that's good enough for me!

We will go and worship Juno              In the temple which is Hebe's
For there's one thing that we do know    And constructed by the Sea-Bees
She did not burn Brother Bruno           She can cure the heebie-jeebies
And that's good enough for me!           Which is good enough for me!

We're not crazy over Aries                We will go and worship Vesta
For his men give us the scaries           For her cooking is the best-a
And they kill like Christ's and Mary's    All the food at the fiesta
Which ain't good enough for me!           Which is good enough for me!

I'll bow down and worship Ops       Let us pray to our Demeter
'Cause we think that she is tops    In the fields we'll go to greet her
Turns a lotta guys into Pops        Then we'll grind her up and eat her
And she's good enough for me!       And it's good enough for me!

Let us all sing for the Dryad       Let us run from the Bacchantes
Let us all sing for the Dryad       For they're not your maiden Aunties
For Bulldozers make them may-ad     And they don't wear underpanties
But they're good enough for me!     But they're mad enough for me!

It was good enough for Cybele       We will -not- go worship Aries
She brought Attis back from Hell    Tho his chest's a mat o' hair, he's
Though his tee-tee wasn't well      Down on Wogs and Pinks and Fairies
But it's good enough for me         And that isn't cool, by me!

We will all team up in dyads       Sweet Persephone was roaming
With the Oreads and Dryads         Through the meadows far from home 'n
Succubi and Sylphs and Naiads      Pluto grabbed her -- awful omen!
Cause we like variety!             (Though it shows he has good taste...)


                           COMMUNISIM

Millions Marx and Lenin follow       Some still worship Chairman Mao
In the "Little Red Book" wallow      But I'll bet that Deng Xiao -
Their Party line I cannot swallow    Ping will soon bring back the Dao
There are better gods for me!        And that's good enough for me!

We will worship Karl Marx          There are some who fall a-grinnin'
Carry Red Flags in the parx        At the cult of Marx and Lenin
Only make love in the darx         They kill heretics for sinnin'
And that's Marxism to me!          And that's proof enough for me!


                           CONFUCIANISM

Let us read works of Confucius         We used to study old Confucius
As we walk thru Massachusetts          As we sat there on our tushes
In white robes that freeze our tushes  We're learning but don't push us
But it's good enough for me!           And thats good enough for me


                             CTHULHU

We will worship mighty Cthulhu        We will worship Great Cthulhu,
H. P. Lovecraft's big old hoodoo      We will worship Great Cthulhu,
(1930's fiction voodoo....)           And we'll feed him Mr. Sulu
But that's good enough for me!        'Cause that's good enough for me!

Let us sing to Lord Cthuhlu           We will sacrifice to Yuggoth
Don't let Lovecraft try to fool you   We will sacrifice to Yuggoth
Or the Elder Gods WILL rule you       Burn a candle for Yog-Soggoth
And that's good enough for me!        And the Goat With a Thousand Young

Of the Old Ones, none is vaster      Well it's good enough for   *
Even Cthulhu's not his master        He's a mighty kinky master
I refer to the unspeakable   *       When you pray he goes much faster
and that's good enough for me!       And that's good enough for me!

              (* - well, do YOU want to say it?)

And for those who follow Cthulhu     Let's go worship Great Cthulhu,
We have really got a lulu:           And run naked like a Zulu,
Drop a bomb on Honolulu!             You and me and Mr. Sulu,
'Cause that's good enough for you!   And that's good enough for me!

We will worship Great Cthulhu       We will worship Holy Cthulhu
You and me and Mr. Sulu             And we'll run around like Zulus
Howling like a drunken Zulu         Then we'll feed him Mr. Sulu,
And that's good enough for me!      And that's good enough for me!

It was good enough for Cthulhu        We will bow down to Cthulhu
Who'd eat me and who'd eat you, too;  We think he is quite a lulu
If it's good enough for Cthulhu       He's not good enough for Zulus
Then it's good enough for me          But he's good enough for me!


                               DAO

All the Chinese pray to Yao         Next to Yao, they worship Yu
For he showed the farmers hao       He built roads and bridges tu
And there's bumper harvests nao     And canals - there's quite a few -
Which is good enough for me!        And that's good enough for me!


                        DEUS EX MACHINA

Gimme that database religion       I will learn to use SQL,
Gimme that database religion       So my searches will all run well,
Gimme that database religion       Though the learning curve can be hell,
It's good enough for me...         It's good enough for me.

I will stick with my flat-file,     CA-Clipper can compile
Though it may be lacking style,     RDDs will make you smile
Its ease-of-use makes me smile,     (though its queries take awhile)
And that's good enough for me.      Still it's good enough for me!

Oh, 4D it is a monster              We're all aware that FoxPro
And can be slow as molasses         Runs in Windows and is not slow
At least now it's with compiler     (and it's what my bosses bought) so
But it was good enough for Guy!     It must be good enough for me.

I will write my code for PICK now       And then Pr1me bought INFORMATION
I will write my code for PICK now       So there was massive consternation
And when I'm finished I will say WOW!   What understated observation --
And that's good enough for me...        Was not good enough for me!

I use , not Lotus,    I will organize mine relationally,
Though the market-share is bogus;     So it re-indexes sensationally --
Like that famous racing tortoise,     It's only useful occassionally,
It is good enough for me.             But that's good enough for me.

I'll print data from my floppy,      I used to perl my flat-file data;
And I'll file the paper copy --      I ran on Unix, so I hadda,
It keeps my secretary happy          Now I do it 'cuz it's fasta
And that's good enough for me.       And that's good enough for me.

We will keep on writing FOCUS       You may code your CRTFORMs
Because Gerry came and woke us      They're not dash-CRTFORMs
We will work our hocus-pocus        Just wait for MAINTAIN & WINFORMs
And it's good enough for me.        They'll be good enough for me.

It was good enough for Simon Fortran,   I remember the P-Eight-Fifty
Good enough for Simon Fortran,          With 2K you've got to be thrifty
Good enough for Simon Fortran,          But the Instruction set's quite nifty
And it's good enough for me.            And it's good enough for me

You might think that I'm a yahoo,     I am getting one of those work-
Hacking on my seven-oh-two,           Stations that are known as PERQ
But it's good enough for Big Blue,    Even though there's the odd quirk
And that's good enough for me.        It's good enough for me

Now that wire-wrap we're routing      We're 'puter hackers who speak jargon
Very soon we'll all be booting        And may play chess with good old Sargon
Yeah Gimme that old time computing    Have ya got yer mountain boots on?
It's good enough for me               (We'll go climbing soon, you see!)

We will write our code in COBOL
DB2, FORTRAN, and SNOBOL
Wanna SPICE up that old low-ball?
They're all good enough for me!

                           DISCORDIANISM

Let us sing to old Discordia            Of Great Murphy much is spoken
Cause it's sure she's never bored ya    For his Law shall not be broken
And if she's good enough for ya         It's not pretty when he's woken
Then she's good enough for me!          Things go wrong for you and me!

If your rising sign is Aries         If your god of choice is Squat
You'll be taken by the Fairies       Well then trendy, man, you're not!
Meet the Buddah in Benares           But you'll get a parking spot!
where he'll hit you with a pie!      And that's good enough for me!

We will sing a verse for Eris           Let us do our thing for Eris
(Golden apples for the fairest!)        Goddess of the discord there is
Though she sometimes likes to scare us  Apple's golden, it's not ferrous
But she's good enough for me!           And that's good enough for me!

Let us praise the Holy Fool          And the brave Illuminatti
For he's breaking all the rules      Can hail Eris in a body
Holds you up to ridicule,            Tho we think they're rather dotty
And that's good enough for me!       They're good enough for me!

There are those who worship Eris         It was good enough for Eris
There are those who worship Eris         We'd love to have her near us
If you're one of them, you scare us!     Her apple is the fairest
So keep away from me!                    And she's good enough for me!

It was good for the goddess Eris     We all know the goddess Eris
Who in anger would not spare us      She had an apple for the fairest
Gave and apple for to snare us       But we've got to learn to share, is
And that's good enough for me!       That good enough for you?

We will praise the wily Trickster    We will howl with ol' Coyote
Who of talents is a mixture          Pee on bushes, eat peyote
And is famous as a prickster         Then we'll roast ol' Mendes' Goatie
And that's good enough for me!       And that's wild enough for me!

Say hosannas to "Bob" Dobbs
With space aliens he hobnobs
He's the patron saint of slobs
And that's good enough for me!

                      (THE ALMIGHTY) DOLLAR

Oh, the dollar is our Saviour       There are those who scream and holler
If we spend Her or we save Her      And get hot under the collar
She controls all our behaviour      For their god, Almighty Dollar,
There's not enough for me!          Who is good enough for me!

Let us praise the Almighty Dollar    Oh the Dollar is the True God
Let us praise the Almighty Dollar    Not the Sun God or the Moon God
Tele-Evangelistic holler             'Cause it's my God and it's your God
And it's good enough for me!         And that's God enough for me!

                        DRUIDS AND FAERIE

We will worship like the Druids,     In Pwyll's hall you will be welcome
Drinking strange fermented fluids,   But he's not at home too often
Running naked through the woo-ids,   Spends all his time in Annwyfn
Coz that's good enough for me!       And that's good enough for me!

I'll go get my golden sickle         We will worship like Zen Druids
And I'll wear it where it tickles    In their non-existant wooids
It ain't used for cuttin' pickles!   Don't try to think, just dooid!
And it's good enough for me!         And it's good enough for me!

We'll go riding with Arawn           That old wondrous faerie, Morgan
In the dark before the dawn          Could appreciate an organ
Wildest Hunt that we've been on!     Just as long as it was workin'
But it's good enough for me!         And that's good enough for me!

Now there was this wizard, Merlin,   There's this Druid who is Jewish
Really kept the world a-twirlin'     He is nice and sometimes foolish
'Til he got mixed up in girlin'      "Oy vey! You don't -look- Druish!"
But he's good enough for me!         "Let's define our terms," says he!

Wrap your sacrifice in wicker          Oh the Welsh gods, -you- announce 'em
It will make the flames burn quicker   Asking my gods to renounce 'em
Tho the smell makes some folks sicker  But our gods, I can't pronounce 'em
It's still good enough for me!         Being tongue-tied's not for me!

When I hear the Ban-Sidhe wailing    When the Morrigu are riding
Sure it sets my heart a-quailing     And the fell Trollwives are striding
Death behind someone is trailing     I'm sure going into hiding!
And I hope it isn't me!              'Cause that battle's not for me!

When the Wild Hunt fills the evening    We will visit with the Sidhe
With a howling and a screaming          And we'll drink until we're giddy
How the Lady's eyes are gleaming        Leave behind G. Gordon Liddy
And that's where I wanna be!            And that's good enough for me!

We will dance 'round with the Dus       We will play with the Pookah
Tho he plays us fast and loose          It will aspect as a hookah
He plays jokes on me and youse          Or a haunted pressure-cookah
But he's good enough for me!            But that's good enough for me!

If you like aggressive women         Said the Sidhe to their new war-duke
Morrigan with tricks is brimmin'     "You must quell Balor, that fierce gook;
Do you groove on S&M-in'?            "Just remember -- USE THE FORCE, LUGH!
Then she's just the one for you!     "You'll be good enough for us!"


                            EGYPTIAN

Let us sing the praise of Horus      When we all bowed down to Nuit
As our fathers did before us         There was really nothin' to it
We're the New Egyptian Chorus        (Alex Sanders made me do it...)
And we sing in harmony!              But that's good enough for me!

We will venerate Bubastis            We will pray with those Egyptians
We will venerate Bubastis            Build pyramids to put our crypts in
If you want in, then just ast us!    Cover subways with inscriptions,
'Cause that's good enough for me!    Which is good enough for me.....!

Let us all now worship Ra              We will all do praise to Horus
And take care of our Ka                In an old Egyptian chorus
We'll all sit round and go "Ah-h-h!"   If there's something in it for us
Which is good enough for me!           Then it's good enough for me!

Here's an invitation for us            We will venerate Bubastis
All to go and worship Horus            Cause my cat walked up and ast us
Doff your clothes and join the chorus  (Now the cat box is DISASTROUS!)
And that's good enough for me!         But it's good enough for me!

It was good for old Osiris           We will worship old Osiris
But what I want to inquire is:       As we sit and smoke papyrus
Can you Xerox (tm) a papyrus?        We will prob'ly catch a virus
And it's good enough for me!         But it's good enough for me!

I prayed to mighty Isis           Let us not forget ol' Isis
To relieve romantic crisis        She will help you thru your crisis
Now I've got satyriaisis          'N make your dreams glow brightest
Which is good enough for me!      And that's good enough for me!

We will go and worship Isis           We will bow down to Osiris
Tho she won't help lower prices       At the blooming of the Iris
We won't find someone as nice as      And he'll save us from the virus
She - that's good enough for me!      Which is good enough for me!

Oh you need no priests for Amon        There's the God who is a monkey
He looks kindly upon laymen            His behaviour's kinda funky
'Course he'd much rather lay women     And he makes a lousy bunkie
And he's good enough for me!           But he's good enough for me!

We will go and honor Isis           Let us worship Egyptian Min
She will help us thru our crisis    Christians call our orgies "sin"
'Cause she has no minor vices       But New Morality is 'in!'
And that's good enough for me!      And that's good enough for me!

We will go to worship Ammon               We will sing the praise of Ra
He will send to end a famine              And of Ammon who goes "B-a-a-a!"
Bagels, cream cheese and smoked salmon    And the Pharaoh's whole brou-ha-ha
Which is good enough for me!              Which is good enough for me!

It was good for Mother Hequet          We'll all be Egyptian mummies
Who bought babes with lots of racket   With bandages 'round our tummies
It was good for Mother Hequet          And we'll stagger 'round like rummies
And it's good enough for me!           And that's good enough for me!

Thoth (or should we say Tehuti?)
Thinks that scholarship's our duty
Though he's more than somewhat snooty
That is good enough for me!

                               ELVIS

We will all worship Elvis,                We all worship good ol' Elvis,
He's the one with the Pelvis,             Though he was kind of selfish,
And some think he's still alive, which,   He could rock and grind his pelvis
Is good enough for me!                    And he's good enough for me!


                FICTIONAL GODS, DEMONS AMD HEROES

Here's to those who copy Conan     We will sing of Foul the Render,
Here's to those who copy Conan     Who's got Drool Rockworm on a bender
They're just Followers of Onan     In his cave in Kiril Threndor--
And that's good enough for me!     They're both too much for me!

There are followers of Conan.        Of Lord Shardik you must beware;
And you'll never hear 'em groanin'   To please him you must swear;
Followed Crom up to his throne(in)   'Cause enraged he's a real Bear,
And it's good enough for me!         And that's good enough for me!

St. Waldo is a were                 Ethyl is the female part
Call on him if you dare             Of Sativa's holy art
He may come on as a bear            Drink her if you've got the heart
And he's good enough for me!        For a holy man to be!

Azahoth is in his Chaos              We will sing of Iluvatur,
Azahoth is in his Chaos              Who sent the Valar 'cross the water
Now if only he don't sway us         To lead Morgoth to the slaughter
That is good enough for me!          And that's just fine with me!

We will worship Holy Ford          We will sing the Jug of Issek,
Beta, Delta, Gamma, Lord           And of Fafhrd his chief mystic,
But the Alphas might get bored     Though to thieving Mouser will stick,
A Brave New World for you and me!  And that's good enough for me!

Let us note the might of Ils          We'll invoke the blessed Camber
With a thousand or more quills        And the Unicorn of Amber
By the light that from him spills     And the wizard Deliamber
He is good enough for me!             They're good enough for me!

The late return of the Prophet Zarquon    We will praise the gods of Hagar
Caused his followers to hearken           At a sort of Nordic seder
As the Universe went dark on              Buy the sacraments from Zabar
All of you and me!                        And that's good enough for me!

Oh the Trekkies worship Spock          "Necronomicon?" I'll buy one!
To the movies they will flock          "Liber Eibon" I'll rely on
Girls as baldy as a crock              And "The Protocols of Zion"
That's not good enough for me!         They're all good enough for me!

We'll pay homage to Godzilla             We will worship Paul Atreides
In the Oriental thrilla                  Tho he sort of lost his sight he
He went and stomped the whole megillah   Got a son that's rather mighty
And he's good enough for me!             And a Sandworm now is he!

Donal Graeme is part Maran            It was good for Bilbo Baggins
And the Com'yn all use "laran"        It was good for Bilbo Baggins
Why the hell am I still Terran?       Treasure sometimes comes with Dragons
But it's good enough for me!          But it's good enough for me!

Michael Valentine is grokking             Roger Elwood got religion
Clothing usage he is stopping             No more sex in Science Fiction
"Thou art God" the phrase he's dropping   Claims we've all got drug addiction
And I'm good enough for me!               He ain't good enough for me!

There may be reincarnation          The "Necronomicon's" still leadin'
There may be reincarnation          All the others its exceedin'
Let us hope we keep our station     Just don't move your lips while readin'
and be born again as fen!           'Cause that isn't good for -you-!

You may marching with your Cross go    There are Frogs out in the Abyss
You may marching with your Cross go    Armed with athame and labrys
I will worship Ghu and Roscoe          They are green and rather scabrous
'Cause they're good enough for me!     But they're good enough for me!

I won't worship ol' Dormammu             Let's not worship old Galactus
To that fire-head I'll say "Damn you!"   He's more nasty than a cactus
I will worship whales named Shamu        Eating worlds takes lots of practice
Or the Chicken of the Sea!               He's too scary for me!

I won't worship ol' Bill Cosby       We've all heard of Illuminati
Tho he's funnier than Fozzie         We've all heard of Illuminati
He is smiling just because he        Their security's kinda spotty
Makes much money on TV!              It's a conspiracy for me!

Robert Wilson keeps on bookin'      We will light up to Sativa
For his titles I keep lookin'       I've got toke-weed up my sleeve, a
He always knows what's cookin'      Trick I learned in the Yeshiva
But don't take him seriously!       And that's good enough for me!

St. Blooper's rather clumsy         St. Frieda's quite a mama
If he hits you, you'll feel numsy   She can pinch you thru your armor
But he's got a sense of whimsy      F*** her to increase your karma
And I -like- the S.O.B.!            She's more than enough for three!

St. Hermann's got a bong            St. Gerald's quite a fellow
If you sniff you'll be high long    Don't you dare to call him yelow
It'll make your eyes ping-pong      For he will make you bellow
His dope's good enough for me!      So he's good enough for me!

Sativa is no peon
He's the head of our pantheon
Better him than snorting freon
'Cause that'll play hell with your nasal passages man.
       Where'd you get this dope anyway? I mean.......
       Far-r-r-r-r farking out!

Let us shout to the Goddess Lum         Let us huumm for the Great Pumpkin
Let us shout to the Goddess Lum         Hum hm huumm hum hum huumm humhumn
From another world she's come           From the pumpkin patch he's comin'
And shes good for An-a-me!              And it's good enough for me!

Let us question Deep Thought too        Let us praise the Babel Fish
Let us question Deep Thought too        Let us praise the Babel Fish
'Cause the answer's Forty-Two!          For it made God but a wish
And it's good enough for me!            But it's good enough for me!

Let us look for the Invisible Man       We will worship great Godzilla
Let us look for the Invisible Man       Or King Kong, that big gorilla
And see him if we can                   If ya don't, then they will kill ya
And he's good enough for me!            And that's good enough for me!

It was good for Uncle Fester            Say hosannas to "Bob" Dobbs
Though he's really quite a jester       With space aliens he hobnobs
And a perfect light bulb tester         He's the patron saint of slobs
And that's good enough for me           And that's good enough for me!

We've decided you are naughty,
If you're not of Landru's body,
Though his robes get kind of shoddy,
They're good enough for me!

                           THE FORCE

It was good for old Darth Vader      For we are the Knights of Jeddi
It was good for old Darth Vader      And in us the Force is reddi
He'll be back a little later         Grab your sabres, throw confetti
And he's good enough for me!         And that's good enough for me!

We will even worship Yoda         Let us all use the Force
Who is small as an iota           Let us all use the Force
But fulfills his Jedi quota       And stay on the proper course
Which is good enough for me!      But it's good enough for me!

If the Force makes you a hater        We will worship like the Wookie
Tall and black like ol' Darth Vader   'Cause he gets a lot of nookie
And not recalled by Ralph Nader       Thinks the DeathStar's just a cookie
Then you're good enough for me!       And that's good enough for me!


                               HINDU

There are some that call it folly       We will go to worship Kali
When we worship Mother Kali.            Though embracing her is folly
She may not be very jolly               She'd be quite an armful, golly!
But she's good enough for me!           And she's good enough for me!

As the goddess Kali dances            I will wait till four-armed Kali
With her worshippers in trances       Drags me thru that lonesome valley
You can learn some Hindu stances      She's disgusting act-u-all-y
And that's good enough for me!        But She's good enough for me!

So you want's to be a Deva          We will sacrifice to Shiva
A real Bodhisavatta                 We will sacrifice to Shiva
A -really- Old Believe-a            If you are a True Believe-a
And that's good enough for me!      Then you're good enough for me!

Just like Swami Sachenanda            We will worship Jargonatha
Just like Swami Sachenanda            But altho we risk his wrath-a
Hold your breath and throw a tantra   There won't none stand in his path-a
And you're good enough for me!        And that's good enough for me!

We'll all study the Vedanta          We will all practice Tantra
We'll all study the Vedanta          Groans and grunts will be our mantra
It's no good for sharks and mantas   There is nothing that you can't-ra
But it's good enough for me!         So it's sex enough for me!

We will go and worship Brahma      We will sacrifice to Kali
Like a Saddhu or a Llama           Tho her Thugs don't act too pally
Clad in less than a pyjama         When you meet them in an alley
And that's good enough for me!     She's still good enough for me!

We will read the Kama Sutra           If you want to worship Shiva
The positions are quite "outre"       Throw some flower in the river
But as long as you're not "neutre"    But if Shiva will deliver
Then it's good enough for me!         then that's good enough for me!

You can sacrifice to Kali           We will go and worship Shiva
Even if you're no Bengali           While we're bathing in the river
Just by mugging in an alley         It's so cold it makes me shiver
And that's good enough for me!      And that's good enough for me!

We will all go worship Rama         Kali has her vengance brewin'
Who created quite a drama           Against all the evil-doin'
When he rescued his sweet mama      It was she shot J. R. Ewing!
And that's good enough for me!      And that's good enough for me!

If a damsel wears a sari                Let us take time out to dally
Krishna's arts can make her tarry       With the Priestesses of Kali
Some folks say that he's too hairy      They need petting to get pally
But he's good enough for me!            But they're good enough for me!


                            ISLAMIC

We will all bow down to Allah          All the warriors for Allah
For he gave his loyal follow-          Are sure to have a gala
-Ers the mighty petro-dollah           Party time in old Valhalla
And that's good enough for me!         And that's good enough for me!

Let us listen to the Prophet           We will all recite the Koran
Let us listen to the Prophet           We will all recite the Koran
Gets more tail than Andy Offut         Scots can stick it in their sporran
And that's good enough for me!         And that's good enough for me!


Oh the Muslims worship Allah          We will guzzle RC Cola
And obey the Ayatollah                When we join the Ayatollah
And they can't drink alcohol-a        'Cause he ain't no Holy Rollah
That's not good enough for me!        And that's good enough for me!


                             JEWISH

If you think that you'll be sav-ed      Some guys have a circumcision
If you think that you'll be sav-ed      On account of their religion,
If you follow Mogen David               An embarrassing incision
Then that's good enough for me!         Cut just ENOUGH from me!

Let us worship old Jehovah              Let us celebrate Jehovah
All you other gods move ovah            Who created us "ab ova"
Cause the one God's takin' over         He'll be on tonight on "Nova"
And it's good enough for me!            'Cause he's good enough for me!

Oh the Jews prefer Jehovah               You can worship God Adonai
But their life is not all clover         Be allowed few things to enjoy
'Cause they're hung with rules all over  I'd much rather be just a goy
But that's good enough for me!           More comfortable for me!

We will observe Tu b'Shevat              We will all observe the Pesach
Its a Jewish holiday that                And try not to get Tay-Sachs
Sounds Druidic - but don't say that!     For God the waters unlocked
Or the J.A.P.s will come for me!         When He set our people free!


                           KABBALLA

We will read from the Kabahlah          We will read from the Cabala.
We will read from the Kabahlah          Quote the Tree of Life mandala
It won't get us to Valhalla             It won't get you in Valhalla,
But it's good enough for me!            Yet it's good enough for me!


                            KRISHNA

We will all sing Hare Krishna        Hare Krishna gets a laugh on
We will all sing Hare Krishna        When he sees me dressed in saffron
It's not mentioned in the Mishna     With my hair that's only half on
But it's good enough for me!         But that's good enough for me!

I was singing Hari Rama               Hare Krishnas worship Rama
With my friend the Dalai Lama         With their tamborines and drum-as
'Til they dumped us in the slammer    But their lifestyle is a bumm-a
But that's good enough for me!        That ain't good enough for me!


                      MIDDLE EASTERN PAGAN

We will hoist a mighty flagon       To Our Lady of Ephesians
To the honor of ol' Dagon           Who has taps for all secretions
And we won't go on the wagon        We will dance like Polynesians
Which is good enough for me!        Which is good enough for me!

I'll sing some songs to Lilith,         We will have a mighty orgy
Not so young, and not so girlish,       in the honour of Astarte
and She's always PMS-ish,               it'll be a mighty party
but She's good enough for me!           and it's good enough for me!

Lilith wears a lacy nightie             We will sing to Lady Isis
And She is a little flighty             She'll stand by us in a crisis
She will get you all excite-y           And She hasn't raised Her prices
She's wet-dream enough for me!          And She's good enough for me!

We will all bow down to Dagon           We will all bow down to Enlil
A conservative old pagan                We will all bow down to Enlil
He still votes for Ronald Reagan        Pass your Cup and get a refill!
And that's good enough for me!          With bold Gilgamesh the Brave!

Let us worship sweet Eninni         Oh the ancient goddess Nerthus
Let us worship sweet Eninni         From herself the Earth did birth us
In a skimpy string bikini           And I wonder: are we worth us?
And that's good enough for me!      But she's good enough for me!

With Inanna don't try flirtin'          She got eager for Dimuzi
To your freedom she'll say "Curtain!"   Said she'd meet him up by Nuzi
'Cause she finds it most impertin-      Now he's taking quite a snooze, he
Ent tosay "She don't suit me!"          Might revive next century!

We will go to worship Lillith          Well Dimuzi's on vacation
Grab your cup, step up and fill it     He'll be back when spring awakens
Tho 'ware she don't make you spill it! There will be such recreation
And that's good enough for me!         There will be enough for me!

Oh the Phillistines abound             We will all bow down to Moloch
Oh the Phillistines abound             We will all bow down to Moloch
They had the biggest Baals around      'Cause his Pope is not a Polack
And that's good enough for me!         And that's good enough for me!

If you want to save your soul, ac-     I'll let Moloch light my fire
-Cording to the priests of Moloch      Of his worship I won't tire
You must sacrifice a Polack            Cheapest baby-sitter's hire....
And that's good enough for me!         And that's cheap enough for me!

We will bow down to Astarte         We will go and weep for Tammuz
And we'll have a great big party    And we'll laugh at Springtime's promise
And your welcome will be hearty     And a few then will be mommas
And that's good enough for me!      Which is good enough for me!

We will bow down to the Goddess        When we gather with Astarte
As She wears Her Cretan bodice         It will be a lovely party
And the women cry "Come prod us!"      And the lovin' will be hearty
And that's good enough for me!         And that's good enough for me!

We will all go worship Rimmon        We will go and worship Baal
All us Pagan men and women           For he is the Lord of All
And our goblets will be brimmin'     In the fields and in the hall
And that's good enough for me!       He is good enough for me!

Let's go for temple prostitution    We will build Baal up an altar
It's an ancient institution         In our duty we'll not falter
That provides a quick solution      And we'll drink our barley malt-er
For horniness in you and me!        And that's drunk enough for me!

Erishkigal was a vixen
But when Nergal got her mixin'
Socially, she soon was fixin'
His connubiality!

                               MITHRAISM

We will sing a song of Mithras        We will all be saved by Mithras
Let us sing a song of Mithras         We will all be saved by Mithras
But there is no rhyme for Mithras!    Slay the Bull and play the zithras
Still he's good enough for me!        On that Resurrection Day!


                                MOONIES

We will worship Sun Myung Moonie      Oh the Moonies worship Moon
Though we know he is a goonie         (Not the Goddess but the goon)
All our money he'll have soonly       They'd eat his s*** without a spoon
And that's good enough for me!        And that's not good enough for me!

Sun Moon's kids are kind of funny
But they stick to him like honey
He just wants their souls and money
And it's good enough for him!


                             MORMON (LDS)

We will worship like the Mormons         I will have a Mormon mammy
And we'll be Masonic doormen             Tho' her hands are kinda clammy
'Round the Temples we'll be swarmin'     They believe in polygammy
And that's good enough for me!           And that's wives enough for me!

Moroni's job is simple:                We'll be reachin' thru the curtain
Blowin' jazz from top the Temples      With the women we'll be flirtin'
Loud enough to pop your pimples!       Secret handshakes, we are certain
And that's good enough for me!         Will be good for you and me!

We will worship with the Mormons
'Cause they're not like Martin Bormann
Into gods they'll be re-bornin'
And that's good enough for me!


                              NEW AGE

Oh, our Spirits will awaken             Well I'm tired of Ronald Reagan,
Oh, our Spirits will awaken             He's too square to be a pagan,
Watch the Universe a-quakin'            Let's all vote for Carl Sagan!
Which is Gurdijeff to me!               He's good enough for me!

Timmy Leary we will sing to            I'll arise at early mornin'
And the things that he was into        When the Sun gives me the warnin'
(Well, at least it wasn't Shinto)      That the Solar Age is dawnin'
And that's good enough for me!         And that's good enough for me!

In the sky I hear a hummin'              Just like Carlos Castenada
It's the UFO's a-comin'                  Just like Carlos Castenada
That's not banjos that they're strummin  It'll get you sooner or later
But it's good enough for me!             And that's good enough for me!

NEW AGE CHORUS: Gimmie that New Aeon Religion
                Gimmie that New Aeon Religion
                Gimmie that New Aeon Religion
                Where everyone's a star!


                          NEW WORLD PAGAN

Let us pray to the Great Spirit     Let us pray to the Great Spirit
Let us pray to the Great Spirit     Let us pray to the Great Spirit
Like the Eagle he will hear us      Like the Thunderbird He'll hear us
And it's good enough for me!        And It's good enough for me!

Let us join the Earth Spirits           Let us journey like the Shaman
Let us join the Earth Spirits           Let us journey like the Shaman
With the Earth they will heal us        To the next de-men-shan
And its good enough for me!             And it's good enough for me!

Thanks to great Quetzacoatl         Some folks pray to the Great Spirit
And his sacred axolotl              Most folks just cannot get near it
And his gift of chocolatl           So they hate it and they fear it
And please pass some down to me!    But it's good enough for me!

Praise to Popacatapetl              Some folks worship the Kachinas
Just a tiny cigarette'll            Some folks worship the Kachinas
Put him in terrific fettle          They look like "deus ex machinas"
So he's good enough for me!         But they're good enough for me!

Now watch out for the Maya's,     Montezuma liked to start out
They might really try to fry ya,  Rites by carrying a part out
Sacrifice people, not papaya's,   That would really tear your heart out,
Just as long as its not me!       But it's good enough for me!

Quetzacoatl's flyin'                  And when old Quetzacoatl
With the Toltec and the Mayan         Found a virgin he could throttle
And the mushrooms he's been buyin'    And put her heart into a bottle
Are good enough for me!               It was good enough for me.

We will worship Xochipilli          We will worship Xipe-Totec
Though it might be a bit silly      Tho it is a little low-tech
Running naked makes me chilly       It is not a bit ero-tek (erotic)
But it's good enough for me!        But it's good enough for me!

Oh, there's none like Huizlipochtli   The Kachinas of the Hopi
For destroyin' people tot'ly          Dance about and some act dopey
Best to worship -him- remotely!       They don't leave you feelin' mopey
But he's good enough for me!          So they're good enough for me!

I have gotten in the way-o            When the blood it was a-surgin'
Walkin' with the Monster Slayer       Aztec priests wore skins of virgins
He is worthy of a prayer              Cause they had transvestite urgins
And he's good enough for me!          That ain't good enough for me!

Be the Great Spirit devotees       We will worship like the Incas
On the mesa smoke peyote           Who were great heroic drinkas
'Til we think we're all Coyote     Tho the Spanish called them stinkas
And that's good enough for me!     Still it's good enough for me!

Come and worship Huehueteotl      Let us sacrifice to Chac Mol
Sit around and chew peyotl        For rain just burn some copal
What a way to get totalled!       Hey! There's a flood out in the hall!
And it's good enough for me!      And it's wet enough for me!

We will go to worship Inti          We will dance unto the Sun
Soon around us we will all see      Pull weights stuck thru our buns
Cocaine being snorted freely        Yank 'em out at a dead run
And that's stoned enough for me!    And that's pain enough for me!

We will worship with the Sioux      We will all be Contrary
Use the bushes for a loo            Walk backwards, and we'll marry
And scalp Gen'ral Custer too!       A Sioux "winkte" (that's a fairy!)
And that's good enough for me!      And that's good enough for me!


                     NORTHERN EUROPEAN (GENERAL)

We will praise the god Toutatis        I was there when Lemminkainen
When the Pagan frenzy's got us         Crazed the winin' and the dinin'
Till we strain our epiglottis          And left poor old Louhi whinin'
And that's good enough for me!         Which was quite a sight to see!

We will go and worship Veles             There's the Russian god Yarilo
All us Pagan gals and fellows            As a love-god he's a thrill-o
And we'll Czech out what he'll sell us   When he comes there is no chill-o
And that's good enough for me!           And he sounds a lot like me!

We will bow down to Perkunas            I remember Vainomoinen
And we'll chant old Baltic 'runos'      Chasing Winter on that mornin'
Save the dolphins and the tunas         As the Spring came finally dawnin'
And that's good enough for me!          And that was good enough for me!

Then there's ol' Koschai the Deathless
He will leave you a bit breathless
Face him with steadfastness
And it's good enough for me!

                        OTHER LANGUAGES

Nous nous appellons Druides,
C'est peut-etre un peu stupide,
Et vienon d'Atlantide.
Mais c'est bon assez pour moi


                        RASTAFARIANISM

Jah will come to set us free here      I be talkin' to da Great Jah
Jah will come to set us free here      With me dreadlocks and me ganja
We won't see Him but He'll be here     I be a Rastaman, ya!
And that's good enough for us!         And it's good enough for me!

Let us mourn Haile Selassie
As a Rasta Saint, he's passe
But as Emperor, he's classy
And that's good enough for me!

                               SATANISM

Oh the Satanists worship Satan        There are those who worship Satan
And behave so aggravatin'             And are just anticipatin'
I think they need castratin'          Armageddon's conflagratin'
And that's good enough for me!        That ain't good enough for me!

Asmodeus will excite us                There are folks who get their hats in
To an orgy he'll invite us             They go out and pray to Satan
He may have his High Priest bite us    On TV this gets a ratin'
But that's good enough for me!         And Geraldo says "Oh, GEE!"

I would go and worship Satan            I will kill an old black rooster
If I could memorize verbatim            Show that I'm a Satan booster
'Cause with him there ain't no fakin'   He's not drawing like he uster
And that kinda frightens me!            But he's good enough for me!

We will all go to the Black Mass       We will follow Satanism
And kiss the goat on his ass           And use a disgusting chrysm
Tho you think it hasn't much class     Made of blood and old stale jism
Still it's good enough for me!         And that's pretty gross for me!

It was good enough for Satan          Then there's Michael Aquino
Whom the Christians are all hatin'    Thinks that Set is really keen-o
But the Beast they are awaitin'       (Satan moved to Argentine-o
And that's good enough for me         After World War Two, you see....)


                     JUST PLAIN GRATITUOUS SEX

I got a new diversion                Gimme that real old-time religion
It's a new kind of perversion!       Where sex ain't doled out in smidgens
I gotta ask: Are you a virgin?       And we don't sacrifice no pigeons
'Cause that's good enough for me!    It's good enough for me

You are very, very pretty            Let's forget those moral urges
As you sing this little ditty        Get your spurs and chains and scourges
I like little ditties....            And accentuate your urges
And I like big ditties too...!!!     So come and play with us!

At the Festival of Milcom            Ancient British music is such
Let the women on the Pill come       Put the BBC well in dutch
And then everybody will come!        Just because that it was too much
And that's good enough for me!       Saxon violins for TV!


                           SCIENTOLOGY

L. Ron Hubbard liked precision         In matters Dianetic
And he founded a religion              You need not get frenetic
That has caught a lot of pigeons       Make your Engrams copacetic
And it's good enough for me!           And that's good enough for me!


                              SHINTO

There are some who practice Shinto     I don't really go for Shinto
There are some who practice Shinto     It's just something I'm not into
There's no telling what WE'RE into!    Tho I guess I could begin to
but that's good enough for me!         'Cause it's good enough for me!

In Japan they thought it neato      Well the Japanese use Shinto
When they worshipped Hirohito       There's no telling what they're into
But that didn't sit with SEATO      It helps them outsell the Pinto
So it never more will be!           And that's good enough for me!

Ameratsu brought the light in         We will venerate the Kami
And love's bonds began to tighten     Tho they don't wear no pyjommies
The whole world began to brighten     And they ain't got any Mommies
And that's good enough for me!        But they're good enough for me!


                           THELEMA

Uncle Crowley was a dreamer      When the clouds they are a-rumbling
At the Abbey of Thelemer         And the thunder is a-grumbling
But his magic is a screamer,     Then it's Crowley that you're mumbling
So it's good enough for me!      And it's good enough for me!

There are those who follow Crowley     Let us call an Elemental
Tho the stuff that he held holy        For a temporary rental
Turn your your brain to guacamole      Just as long as it is gentle
But he's good enough for me!           It is good enough for me!

It was good enough for Crowley        The Thelemites worship Crowley
With his sacraments unholy            While he's roasting very slowly
Who smoked pot and ate some moly      'Cause they think he's so damn holy
And it's good enough for me!          He don't do a thing for me!

It's no good for Jerry Falwell          Magick's language is so queer
And he don't think we're at all well    Causes Crowley to appear
But the Great Rite's when we ball well  And to stick it in your ... ear!
And that's good enough for me!          That's not good enough for me!

Let us not forget St. Crowley        There are those who worship Crowley
For he's humble, meek and holy       'Cause they say he rhymes with "holy"
Kind and jolly, roly-poly,           What I say is "Holy Moley!"
And that's good enough for me!       "Perfect love, and ninety-three!"

When the wind is turnin' howly          Ninety-three and forty-leven
And the thunder's gettin' growly        Sixty-nine and eighty-seven
Then you know you're workin' Crowley    Crowley won't get you to Heaven
And he's good enough for me!            Ain't no good for you and me!


                             VOODOO

There are people into voodoo           There are people into Voodoo
Africa has raised a hoodoo             With a mojo and a hoodoo
Just one little doll will do you       I know I do, I hope you do!
And it's good enough for me!           And it's good enough for me!

If you're really into dancing        We will all go worship Shango
And you wanna try some trancing      Who will make the thunder bang-o
Then the Voodoo gods are prancing    End the drought down in Durango
And that's good enough for me!       Which is good enough for me!


                      WICCA AND GENERAL NEO-PAGAN

Well, she raised an awful flurry      When old Gerald got it goin'
When she made the scholars worry      When old Gerald got it goin'
Thank the Gods for Margaret Murray!   All that hidin' turned to showin'
She is good enough for me!            And that's good enough for me!

It was good enough for Granny           It's not good enough for Reagan
She could throw a double-whammy         It's not good enough for Reagan
That would knock you on your fanny      He's too square to be a Pagan!
And she's good enough for me!           And that's good enough for me!

With the aid of my athame             Meeting at the Witching Hour
I can throw a "double-whammy"         By the Bud, and Branch and Flower
(And can slice and dice salami!)      Folks are raising up the Power
So it's good enough for me!           And that's where I want to be!

There will be a lot of lovin'       We will worship with the witches
When we're meetin in our Coven      'Cause we're rowdy sons-of-bitches
Quit yer pushin and yer shovin'     And they scratch us where it itches
So there's room enough for me!      And that's good enough for me!

Well the Christians all are humming     We will gather at our saunas
Cause they say their God is coming,     When the spirit comes upon us
Our God came three times this evening   To perform the Rites of Faunus
And that's good enough for me!          And that's good enough for me!

Some folks worship all of Nature            Perfect love and perfect trust
Tho they love to taunt and bait-cher        We shall rise up from the dust
They're just funnin', they don't hate-cher  And become the upper crust
And they're good enough for me!             And that's good enough for me!

We are Children of the Goddess           After converts we're not chasing
And the Horned One begot us              And their money we're not fleecing
And with love the Craft they taught us   Still our numbers are increasing
And that's good enough for me!           And that's good enough for me!

We are children of the Wicca          In the face of Inquisition
And although we may bicker            We maintained an Opposition
Our loving is much quicker            And preserved the Old Tradition
And that's good enough for me!        And that's good enough for me!

When the blizzard is a-whirling     We survived the conflagration
And the Yule log is a-burning       And emerged with jubilation
And the Sun God is returning        In a new reincarnation
It is good enough for me!           And that's good enough for me!

When the ice is a-breaking          Now the candles are a-gleaming
And the buds are a-taking           And the Cauldron is a-steaming
And the Lady is a-waking            And the full Moon is a-beaming
It's good enough for me!            And that's good enough for me!

When the day meets the night        Let's go skyclad all together
In equal dark and equal light       Dance the Circle round the heather
God and Goddess shall unite         Never mind the freezing weather
And that's good enough for me!      And that's good enough for me!

On the evening of the May           Come and join the celebration
Round the fires buring gay          Pour the Goddess a libation
Witches dance the night away        You don't need initiation
And that's good enough for me!      And that's good enough for me!

When Midsummer fires burn          When the red-necks say we're sinning
Ere the Sun begins to turn         I don't care, 'cause we are winning
Comes the flowering of the fern    And this is only the beginning
And that's good enough for me      And that's good enough for me!

When the Sun is a-going                When the souls of the departed
And the crops have finished growing    Come to join us, cheerful-hearted
and we reap the fruits of sowing       We know in death we are not parted
It's good enough for me!               And that's good enough for me!

When the night meets the day                Our High Priestess is a doll
When leaves turn brown and skies turn grey  But she's fond of alcohol
And the Sun is going away                   Carlo Rossi she'll extoll
That is good enough for me!                 But she's good enough for me!

Our Coven is a bunch                  Our High Priest thinks he's Conan
But I have a sneaking hunch           But he cannot keep a bone-on
That their brains are out-to-lunch    He resorts to the Rite of Onan
But they're good enough for me!       But he's good enough for me!

Our Maiden is a virgin                Our Maiden is a virgin
But her big toes keep divergin'       But her buttocks keep divergin'
And she don't need any urgin'         In Greek Rites she don't need urgin'
And that's good enough for me!        And that's good enough for me!

Our Summoner thinks he's lusty      Our Witch-Queen has a tushie
But his balls are gettin' dusty     Which is big and wide and plushy
And his nail is gettin' rusty       Altars under her go sqooshy
But he's good enough for me!        What e're the carpentry!

Our Coven has a charter              Our First-Degree has curves
They recieved from some old farter   That give all men the swerves
And they gave him one in barter      It gets on the ladies' nerves
But it's good enough for me!         But she's good enough for me!

Our Healer shaves her thing          Our Neophyte's a fool
Once a month we see the string       But he's got a ten-inch tool
Back and forth it tends to swing     He'll have Third Degree by Yule
But she's good enough for me!        If all the girls agree!

Our Familiar is black                 Those Evangelists all say
With a white stripe down his back     They possess the one true way
When his tail goes up, make tracks,   I'll take Wicca any day
'Cause it ain't perfumery!            And that's good enough for me!

When the full Moon's in the sky     Up the chimney, down the street
And the witching hour is nigh       Flying at ten thousand feet
Flying ointment we'll apply         Hey, Pan Am, we gotcha beat!
And that's very good for me!        And it's good enough for me!

Our Bard is macrophonic            Our chalice holds six quart
And he thinks he's so harmonic     And our wine -- it sure ain't port!
But he's more like cacophonic      It's distilled in a retort
And he plays a mile off-key!       But it'sh good enough f'me!

Our Book-Of-Shads is old               Our rituals are diverse
Every page inch-deep in mold           Every week a different curse
'Cause the store where they are sold   Goddess! What if they reverse?
Got flooded by the sea!                It won't be good enough for me!

Bakersfield has Minstrel Puck         We were told in Pagan class
Who with verses shows much pluck      That leaping cauldrons is a gas
Though I think he'd rather ...play    But I got a roasted...pentacle
But he's good enough for me!          And I can't sit down for tea!

Outdoor skyclad is for wierdos      Gavin Ice took out his phallus
Who forget about mosquitoes         And he stuck it in the Chalice
And they zap you like torpedos      Please don't pee, Gav, out of malice
That ain't good enough for me!      That ain't good enough for me!

I inherited from Mommy               When a witch says "wackawacka"
I inherited from Mommy               You must kiss her "smackasmacka"
My big, black, switch-blade athame   And recieve one "backabacka"
And it's ba-a-a-d enough for me!     And that's good enough for me!

We will worship in the Northwest     The God of Man entices
Where the water is our fortress      Paganism our life spices
Where the Lord and Lady know best    So just 'ankh' if you love Isis
And that's good enough for me!       And that's good enough for me!

It was good enough for Grannie       As the waning year is ending
It was good enough for Grannie       Young and old souls now are blending
It was good enough for Grannie       Voices round the Circle sending
And she taught it all to me!         Samhain joy across the worlds!

Through the endless night we shiver   Pagans gather in the clearing
Flames around the Yule log quiver     For the end of Winter's nearing
As we sing to praise the Giver        And the Maiden is appearing
Of the Sun on Solistice morn!         Bringing promises of Spring!

Light and darkness stand together     Hand in hand we leap the fire
Leafing birch and flow'ring heather   To the meadows we retire
Brethren clad in fur and feather      To fulfill Beltane desire
Tell us Spring has come again         And give seed unto the land!

While the Solistice Day is fleeting   Joy and fruitfulness abound
Bull and Stag again are meeting       On Lammas Eve, the fertile ground
For the honor of repeating            Reveals the gift of Love that's found
Vows that bind them to the Queen!     When the Horned One dies once more!

For the Wintertide preparing         Always be polite to witches
Harvest baskets we are bearing       Always be polite to witches
Goddess bounty we are sharing        If you cross them they are bitches
When the night and day are one!      And they throw some nasty spells!

It was Gerald wrote the ditty        When I first became a pagan
And Al Crowley made it pretty        It was daring and outragin'
Ain't traditional one bitty          Now my Circle's started agin'
But it's good enough for me!         But they're good enough for me!

We will follow Gerald Gardner        We go skyclad for the Goddess
In our faith he is our partner       So we wear no shirt or bodice
All that scourgin' makes it harder   And it isn't very modest
But it's good enough for me!         But it's good enough for me!

Let's all hug our Earthy Mother      We will gather come the Lammas
There is nothin' that I'd druther    It is writ in Nostradamus
She's better then any other          We will take off our pyjamas
And She's good enough for me!        We'll make merry, She'll be pleased!

I've got a modern-type athame         Some are self-initiated
And it packs a six-part whammy        Tending to be addle-pated
That'll knock you on your fanny       If their rituals are X-rated
Samuel Colt made it for me!           That ain't Wicca, don't you see!

It was good enough for Brigid          It was good for Gerald Gardner
Oh, she surely isn't frigid            Scourging is a penis hardener
She sure keeps Jack's pecker rigid     Then you do it to your partner
And that's good enough for me          And that's good enough for me

It's those good old connotations      I'm full mooning evil spirits
Which make grow the Pagan nations     Throwing wild derriere fits
Leading us to conjugations            And on me they can't lay their mitts
And that's good enough for me!        'Cause my charm's protecting me!

To the Goddess lift our glasses         MAPPCAF I and II were heaven
And let's all get off our asses         And the spirits worked like leaven
Teach those Pagans, hold them classes   I can't wait 'til MAPPCAF VII
And that's good enough for me!          More than good enough for me!

We will pray for Ruthie Carter       We will worship Frey and Freya
That she may become much smarter     Yao and Vesta, Lugh and Gaia
And put on a Witches' Garter         Any more? Perun! and Maia!
And that's good enough for me!       That's still not enough for me!

It was good enough for Tim Zell             We will jump the old bonfire
It was good enough for Tim Zell             Tho the flames are roaring higher
With that beard he'll never freeze, well    If you miss you join the pyre
And that's good enough for me!              And that's good enough for me!

It was good enough for Margot         Burn Damiana for a lover
It was good enough for Margot         And burn Rowan to the Mother
And her book I could not forego       Cense will show many another
And it's good enough for me!          Clear the smoke! I cannot see!

All the apple trees wassail        It was good for Beltane fires
As we heft the flowing pail        Put out by lying friars
A good cider mixed with ale        It was good for Beltane fires
And that's good enough for me!     And it's good for you and me!

We're all children of the Goddess    If you think that you're a Bard
We're all children of the Goddess    Go and practice in the yard
She always fed and shod us           Annoy the neighbors till you're tarred
She is good to you and me!           And feathered, but don't mention me!

Give thanks to the Earth our Mother    Hail to Regan and to Sagan
Give thanks to the Earth our Mother    Hail to Regan and to Sagan
She'll care for us like no other       I'm a San Diegan Pagan!
And she's good enough for me!          And it's good enough for me!

If the HP wants some lovin'            This old Cosmos needs the Grace in
As an entrance to his Coven            God and Goddess for creation
Shout it to the Gods above             Take them both in combination
That that's not Wicca, don't ya see!   And you have the true T'ai Ch'i!

Oh they say its knife and chalice
But we know its quim and phallus
In the woods or in the Palace
And that's good enough for me"

                          ZARATHUSTRIAN

We will pray to Zarathustra        It could be that you're a Parsi
And we'll pray just like we usta   It could be that you're a Parsi
I'm a Zarathustra boosta!          Don't need a ticket; you get in free
And that's good enough for me!     And that's good enough for me!

I pray to Ahura-Mazda                  I can't rhyme Ahura Mazda,
He's one god who sure won't pause ta   I'll praise the man who tries ta
Pound some heads when given cause ta   Then I'll wait for Barak Raz ta
Which is good enough for me!           And that's good enough for me!

              UNCLASSIFIABLE VERSES AND UNKNOWN GHODS

Let us watch Ka-ka-pa-ull        Where's the gong gone? I can't find it
Frolic in her swimming pool      I think Northwoods is behind it!
Subjecting chaos to her rule     For they've always been cymbal-minded
And that's all right with me!    And they're good enough for me!

They revered ancient ENIAC            Some folks pray to the Orishas
And sacrificed to UNIVAC              Tho their humor can be vishas
Now we sing our chants on VAX pack    When they grant your stupid wishas
And that's good enough for me!        But they're good enough for me!

When you worship Rusto             There are those who worship science
Treat your friends with lust-o     And some would send 'em to the lions
Pursue your faith with gusto!      Without 'em we'd have no appliance
And that's good enough for me!     So they're good enough for me

We will all bow down to Gozer                John, Paul, George and Ringo
Priestess did it with that Joser             We will worship playing Bingo
Cross the streams, and there she goes, sir   We will listen to them sing-o
And that's good enough for me!               And that's good enough for me!

Drink to FUFLUNS he's just fine       I have got a strange religion
The Etruscan god of wine              I will worship Walter Pidgeon
This verse doesn't really rhyme       Is he sacred? Just a smidgen!
But it's good enough for me!          But it's good enough for me!

We'll do a film on Caligula       Let's have one verse that's Carl Sagan's
The perverted Roman rula          He's seen Earthmen, Martians, Vegans
It will make a lot of moolah      But he's yet to meet us Pagans
And that's good enough for me!    And that's good enough for me

We will sing to Ronnie Ghu un-       We will have no mullets voided
-til they ask us what we're doin'    Within annulets conjoin-ed
'Cause it's good enough for you an'  If it's good enough for Ioseph
Babe, it's good enough for me!       Then it's good enough for me!

I like old Hewlett-Packard,              Sing a chorus of "Hosannah!"
Whose old software can be hackered       Sing a chorus of "Hosannah!"
And their printers' been all lacquered   Hit the Top Ten in Nirvana
And they're good enough for me!          And it's good enough for me!

Sigmund Freud, now he's another         We thought Lashtal Lodge was snooty
"Kill your father, screw your mother"   So we founded Camp Tehuti
Feeling guilty's such a bother          We will make off with the booty
No, the shrinks are not for me!         And that's good enough for me!

If I come a fatal cropper           It was good for Jimmy Carter
Then a rebirth would be proper      He just wanted to be a martyr
I'll meet up with Cosmo Topper      He coulda been if he'd been smarter
And that's good enough for me!      And that's good enough for me!

Doctor Bob and ol' Bill W.            We will go down to the temple
Clean from alcohol will scrub you     Sit on mats woven of hemp-le
'Cause your Higher Power loves you    Try to set a good "exemple"
And that's good enough for me!        And that's good enough for me!

We will praise the goddess Gorgo      There's a goddess known as K'rta
For a skill we would not forego       She, from whom all life doth s'prta
Makes the bull and ram and boar go    And She won't let us get h'rta
(M: And it also works on me!)         And She's good enough for me!
(F: And it brings my men to me!)

We shall drink throughout the day      When Alphito gave us beer
And to junk food not say nay           We all raised a ringing cheer
Thru the night to Ralph we'll pray     We will surely hold it dear
In the toilet bowl, you see!           As we drink up, merrily!

We'll all follow Tanna Hanna        We give thanks to Gregor Mendel
Celebrate Solistice in her manna    Pea plant's alleles he did bend-el
Let her be our menu planna          Now we breed men just like Grendel
That's good enough for me!          And that's good enough for me!

We all like to go skinny dippin'    It was good for Boojum-Under-the-Rock
After which, we're often drippin'   He keeps money in his sock
And some of us are trippin'         Has big ears and a great big nose
And hey there! Wait for me!         And that's good enough for me

Well, gather me in a basket            Let us all go squeeze the Charmin
And then find me a lead-lined casket   Send Mister Whipple back to farmin'
Three Mile Island blew a gasket        He will find our pranks alarmin'
And that's all that's left of me!      And it's good enough for me!

Down in Jonestown they were boozin'       There's a woman I've heard tell on
And there might have been more enthusin'  Thinks a gay is just a felon!
Had us Pagans been there loosin'          Throw her into Mt. St. Helen!
But that's good enough for me!            And that's good enough for me!

It was good for Mother Shipton           We will all go be nice SCAdians
It was good for Mother Shipton           And get nice and truly laid - ian
And her herb teas sure beat Lipton       Not a lot of them are maid-i-ens
And that's good enough for me!           And that's good enough for me!

With the old traditions cracking       The wacky ol' inventor
Modern Amazons are packing             With his brain a bit off-centre
What they used to be a-lacking         Whomped up A-bombs for adventure
And they sure look good to me!         And that's good enough for me

When Erzulie takes the floor-o        Kuan Yin, she of Potalaka,
Her seductiveness scores Four-Oh      Of sharp words is not a lacker
If she'll fool around some more-o     Best that you not be a slacker
Then that's better still for me!      To be good enough for Her!


                    THE OBLIGATORY LAST VERSE(S)

If you think these verses floor us     It's the opera written for us!
Then go write another chorus           We will all join in the chorus!
Just as long as you don't bore us      It's the opera about Boris,
Then it's good enough for me!          Which is Godunov for me!

                        THE FINAL WORD

We will bow down to John Boardman     Joe Bethancourt's a swordsman
Tho he's not a master swordsman       And he also is a Hordesman
Verses of this song he hoards, man    And he'll sing 'til he gets bored, man
And he's good enough for me!          And he's good enough for me!

Give a rest to old religion,          If you want a new edition
If only just a smidgen.               Let its writing be -your- mission!
It's really not my pidgin,            As for me, I'm goin' fishin'!
Though it's good enough for you!      Or I'll go and watch TV!

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                  677 verses: Last update 07/21/94

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     We are -always- interested in more verses! Please send them to:

WESTERN USA: Joe Bethancourt                 EASTERN USA: John Boardman
             PO Box 35190                                 234 E. 19th St.
             Phoenix, AZ 85069                            Brooklyn, NY 11226
             locksley@indirect.com

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    The first full edition was released on 1 May, 1993 as REALOTR1.TXT,
    and all subsequent updates are numbered sequentially. It includes
    _ANAKREON_ numbers #6, #8, #10, and #12, plus Joe Bethancourt's
    collection.

    This is not to be considered the second update. It contains
    all of REALOTR1.TXT (the original computer file collection),
    REALOTR2.TXT plus new verses, but is being posted as a request for
    more verses only. The new verses are not always tacked
    onto the end of the old ones, due to format considerations, so ya
    gotta look a little bit for some of 'em. Nyahh! Nyahh!

    The 666th verse of this collection was written by Leslie Fish.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------

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